God’s grace is sufficient.
I know that, and I believe that. However, when it comes to living out that truth, I struggle. Over the last month, I have said things like:
“I feel like it is physically impossible for me to leave my children behind as I travel.” …but I did.
“I don’t think I can bear the weight of Todd, Jaden, and Kellen leaving me here all by myself.” …but I have.
“I want to go home right now!” …and I still do!...but I’m still here!
I am weak!
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
It is God who sustains me, and only Him. God’s grace is abundant, and His grace is enough in each of my trials. However, His grace is given in the moment it is needed; it is not given ahead of time. It is during these times of anticipation, or worry, or fear that I am learning to cling to my Savior, to trust Him completely, and to know that God truly is my strength and my portion.
God knew that once Todd and my boys left, that I would be moving into an apartment with another adoptive mom, who would not only become someone I would share lots of laughter with, but someone I would get the privilege of encouraging. –A glimpse of His grace.
The Lord also had a sweet, little surprise for me. After moving to my present location, I discovered a thrift store right across the street! Those who know me well, know that I thoroughly enjoy treasure hunting. As silly as it sounds, it was a gift straight from God to me. He knows my desires, He knows what makes me smile, and I experienced Him delighting in me as I took pleasure in His gift. –More of His grace.
Although I am expecting His grace to be there, I am still in awe of it when it comes. The joy and peace, comfort and strength, that I have experienced this past week has kept me in awe of our Lord. He is so good. And now I am being faced with the opportunity to lean into Him again as I prepare for my roommate/friend/fellow adoptive mom to depart. I will choose to praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord. Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty heavens. Praise Him for His acts of power; praise Him for His surpassing greatness. Praise Him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise Him with the harp and lyre, praise Him with tambourine and dancing, praise Him with the strings and flute, praise Him with the clash of cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.
-for Elliana. Emotions are high as her best friend leaves the orphanage tomorrow. The reality of all the transitions are
hitting her. Grieving is necessary and healthy but also confusing as it is mixed with such joy. She, especially, is
sensitive to change.
-for me, Jenny, as I travel Tues, Feb 19 to a village a couple hours away. I must obtain the three original
birth certificates from the region where our children were born.
-for Todd. Since arriving home, he has had a fever and very upset stomach. It has been debilitating. Please pray
for his health to be restored and for the rest of our family to remain healthy.
-Praise the Lord with us!!!